


Kiss Me When You're Sober

by dcrksun



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Romance, Best Friends, Boys Kissing, Drinking, Drinking Games, Drunken Kissing, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-30
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-15 01:08:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21245018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dcrksun/pseuds/dcrksun
Summary: In which Mark Lee and Lee Donghyuck often share drunk kisses that Mark can't seem to remember and that Hyuck can't seem to handle anymore.Aka the one where Donghyuck finally snaps and tells Mark to kiss him when he's sober.





	Kiss Me When You're Sober

**Author's Note:**

  * For [haechieprint](https://archiveofourown.org/users/haechieprint/gifts).

> Heyooo  
This is my first ever fan fic and I'm kind of scared to publish it but hey, here goes nothing!  
Hope you enjoyyy <3
> 
> ps. this is dedicated to you Ella because you had surgery today and you definitely deserve a lil pick me up ;) oh and ILYYYY

A kiss. A brush of the lips can light your entire body on fire. A single touch can send electricity coursing through your veins. Fingers tangled in your hair can make you feel like your bodies are melting into one like you don't know where you end and he begins. At least that's how Lee Donghyuck felt every single time Mark Lee's gentle lips touched his. His entire body combusted and he seemed to forget how to breathe with every soft inebriated breath that Mark let out against him. If only Mark felt that way too. 

For Donghyuck, it was practically impossible to put into words what kissing Mark meant. It made the rest of the world disappear as if Mark was the only one to exist. It made him feel things, physical and emotional alike, that he didn't even know he could feel. How strong it all was only made it harder to acknowledge the fact that they had no effect on his best friend. To Mark, they seemed to be nothing more than meaningless kiss after meaningless kiss, no different to making out with any random guy in any random spot at any random party. 

Hyuck couldn't help but heave a sigh as Mark fumbled with his shirt buttons in the dark of his bedroom. Part of him wanted to give in, to let Mark do whatever he wanted, but he also knew it would destroy him. Mark's kisses, his touch, his gaze, they were all blessings but also curses. No matter how gentle his lips were or how lightly he tugged at Hyuck's hair or how soft-spoken he was, every single touch left an invisible bruise, every single kiss broke his heart a little bit more, every single tug made him unravel inside. 

Usually, Hyuck successfully pushed the thoughts away but this time, staying in the moment proved rather difficult. No matter how good it felt, he couldn't help but think about how it would feel the next morning, how difficult it would be to act as if nothing had happened. With every repeat of the drunken, mistaken kissing, it became harder for Hyuck to deny his feelings. He heaved another sigh against Mark's lips but the other boy was either too preoccupied still drunkenly unbuttoning his shirt or he put it down to pleasure because he didn't react in any way.

In moments like this Hyuck couldn't help but think back to the first drunken kiss they shared. In that moment, every touch felt like fireworks. God, how happy he was. 

_ A New Years' Eve party. It wasn't exactly Donghyuck's choice of event but when Mark asked if he could come with him, as friends, of course, he couldn't quite bring himself to say no. Now he was standing there, impatiently tapping his feet against the marble flooring because Mark was meant to meet him at the bottom of the stairs ten minutes ago and there was no way in hell that Hyuck was going into a room full of people dancing all by himself. He was actually about to head back upstairs and just stay in his room until Mark decided to look for him but when he turned around, he was already standing at the top of the stairs. Donghyuck was pretty sure his jaw just hit the ground because Jesus Christ, Mark looked positively otherworldly in a suit. He gulped, lowering his eyes to the ground and when he looked up for a second time, he couldn't help but notice that his best friend looked ghostly pale and that his hand that rested on the bannister was practically shaking.  _

_ "Mark, are you okay?" He asked, already rushing up the stairs. He knew that Mark suffered pretty badly from social anxiety and that he wasn't exactly a fan of crowds but he didn't think that a family New Years' Eve party would have this effect on him, even if there were so many people. _

_ "I'm fine," Mark said and Hyuck could tell that he was struggling to control his voice, to stop himself from sounding shaky and scared.  _

_ "Hey, I know you're not. But you will be, okay? I'll be with you the whole time" Donghyuck's voice was soft but firm at the same time as he reached a hand to his best friend. "You're going to be okay, I promise." _

_ Mark nodded, squeezing Hyuck's hand. He didn't say anything but he didn't need to; the look in his eyes was enough of a thank you. _

_ As the party went on, Hyuck watched Mark slowly relax with each champagne flute that he emptied. At first, it was nice to see him become more himself and chatting to people and letting loose a bit but soon enough, Donghyuck couldn't help but notice that his best friend was rambling and more importantly, stumbling a bit too much. It didn't exactly take a genius to point out that Mark Lee was pretty drunk and it also didn't take a genius to know that his parents would be far from happy if drunk Mark did anything to cause a scene. _

_ "Hey, why don't we go and get some fresh air?" Hyuck suggests, linking arms with Mark and starting to walk before the other could even protest. He led his slightly confused but mostly stumbling, laughing mess of a best friend through the maze of corridors and down some stairs before finally stepping into the cold winter air. He saw Mark shiver so he slipped his suit jacket off with a doting smile, laying it over the boy's shoulders. As he was pulling it together, he couldn't help but realise how close they were standing, their breaths fanning each others' faces. As if on cue, the New Years' countdown could be heard from the hall.  _

_ Ten. It seemed like Mark also noticed their proximity as he stopped laughing and his bemused expression was replaced by something Hyuck couldn't quite read. _

_ Nine. Mark took a step forward. Now they really were close. _

_ Eight. God, Mark was beautiful. His skin practically shined in the silver light and the moon left glowing orbs in his eyes. _

_ Seven. His eyes. They practically bore into Donghyuck's soul, even now that he was so drunk he was stuttering his every word. _

_ Six. Hyuck couldn't help it as his eyes wandered to Mark's lips, pink and soft and perfect like every single part of the boy. _

_ Five. Without even thinking, he raised his hand, thumb gently brushing over Mark's lips. _

_ Four. His best friend looked pretty startled, as if he'd just been brought back from a trance or woken from a deep sleep. _

_ Three. "I'm sorry." Hyuck's voice was soft as he lowered his hand back to his sides. _

_ Two. He bent his head in embarrassment, eyes trained on their feet and a red blush undeniably staining his cheeks. _

_ One. He felt Mark's hands on his face, gently cupping his cheeks and lifting it until their eyes were level again. God, those eyes.  _

_ Happy New Year. Cheers erupted. The sky above them was lit up by fireworks. The only thing that Hyuck felt in that moment, however, was Mark's lips smashing against his. He kissed him back with an intensity that surprised even him. The moment was perfect. _

In that moment, Hyuck had let himself believe that this kiss was more than a drunken mistake, that it meant sober Mark also had feelings for him too. He let himself indulge in these thoughts for a bit. He let himself believe that Mark would still be here, kissing him of all people, even if he wasn't drunk and Donghyuck wasn't his only option. Since then, every kiss had this element of self-indulgence, this aspect of make-believe, a hope, as unrealistic as it was, that one day these kisses would be more than kisses. That one day Mark would feel the same about Hyuck as he did about Mark. 

_ After what seemed like forever but probably was just mere moments, Hyuck's mind caught up to him. He couldn't be doing this. Mark was drunk. It wasn't right. As much as he wanted this, as much as he was enjoying this, Mark was his best friend and Hyuck needed to make sure that he really wanted this if they were going to do this. _

_ Pulling away was harder than he'd care to admit but he did it anyway, tearing his lips away from Mark's and putting a step's distance between them. _

_ "I'm sorry, I can't," he said softly. "Not like this, not when you're drunk." _

_ Mark put up a bit of a fight, insisting that he did want it, that there was nothing he wanted as much, but Hyuck was already set. They had kissed and it was amazing, and god, did he hope it would happen again but only if Mark was sober and he still chose to it. _

Hyuck almost scoffed remembering how happy he had been. Remembering how he fell asleep replaying the moment in his head and imagining Mark confessing his feelings the next day made him feel a twisted sort of sickness. That next morning… Talk about shattered dreams. 

_ Unsurprisingly, Hyuck woke up before Mark the next morning. He had slept next to his best friend many times before but last night he claimed on a spot on his soft carpet instead, not wanting to push anything. When he sat up to look over at Mark, it practically took his breath away. Even just lying in bed, asleep after a drunken night, Mark looked, well, breathtaking. His skin shone golden in the rays of the rising sun and his hair was somehow perfect even now that it was tousled. Hyuck shook his head, letting out a quiet laugh. He really needed to get a grip here; he was becoming a lovesick idiot after one kiss. With that, he got up, pulling on one of Mark's hoodies then heading out to find Mark a bottle of water and some undeniably much needed Advil.  _

_ By the time he returned, Mark was already up, his face scrunched up and his hand covering his eyes as he adjusted to the sunlight. When he spotted Hyuck, or more importantly the box of Advil in his hand, a relieved grin spreading over his features.  _

_ "Oh, you're a saviour, my head is pounding," he said, already extending his hand out for the medication. "Honestly, how much did I drink last night? I can't remember anything after my mum made me slow dance with grandma." _

_ Hyuck felt like he couldn't breathe for the second time that morning. Except this time, it had nothing to do with how good Mark looked and everything to do the fact that he couldn't remember. Mark Lee couldn't remember the kiss that quite literally made Donghyuck's night, if not year. This time, his eyes began to dwell up with tears and suddenly words escaped him entirely.  _

_ "I- I have to go" he choked out, turning around and rushing out of the room before Mark could even react, before he could ask where Hyuck was going or why there were tears rolling down his cheeks.  _

_ Luckily, or in hindsight perhaps unluckily, Mark was too preoccupied with taking his pills and hangover headache to notice anything too unusual and Hyuck could make his mistake without being followed. Or perhaps Mark just didn't care enough to follow. Either way, Donghyuck was happy to be alone as he slid down against a wall, tears clouding his vision and silent sobs racking his body. _

Hyuck hadn't known what to say then and he still didn't. How do you tell your best friend of drunken kisses they can't even remember but that made you fall even more in love with them? How do you tell them that you don't just want kisses laced with alcohol, messy fingers and sloppy tongues but that you want to be fully sober, feeling and remembering every sensation of every touch, every moment of your bodies intertwining? Even the small kisses, the teasing pecks on the lips, the ones that served to distract, the ones that weren't meant to be remembered - Hyuck couldn't let go of them and he didn't want to. 

_ Drunk water polo. Honestly, a terrible idea by any means but one that Donghyuck could not bring himself to regret, even if it hurt. It began with awfully aimed shots and plenty of splashing, friends tackling each other as their laughter echoed through Chenle's garden. He was Donghyuck's friend to begin with but with how close Donghyuck and Mark were, the two friendship groups seemed to have merged into one. If it wasn't for the fact that this made Mark practically inescapable, Donghyuck would have absolutely loved it. Or perhaps, that was exactly the part he loved the most.  _

_ The two groups together certainly made for one crazy one though and that's how they ended up in the pool at 3 am on that warm but breezy summer's night. The game of water polo soon turned into some piggy-in-the-middle style 'let's just annoy Mark' game with Chenle, Donghyuck, Renjun, Jeno and Jaemin throwing the ball between them and teasing Mark with it but never giving it to him. The ball was currently with Donghyuck and whilst, as he often liked to remind him, Mark was actually a centimetre taller, Hyuck was doing a pretty good job of keeping the ball out of a rather intoxicated Mark's reach. That is until Mark kissed him. Not properly or deeply or even for long but it still knocked the air out of Donghyuck's lungs. His arms instinctively lowered to his sides, the ball dropping into the pool water. When Mark pulled apart, a mischievous grin gracing his lips, his skin glowing ever so slightly in the faint moonlight and water dripping down his face, he somehow looked more stunning than ever before.  _

_ "Gotcha" Mark grinned, clearly not thinking much of the kiss. It was just a distraction, nothing more.  _

_ "Now that's not fair," Donghyuck said and his pout was clear in his breathy, barely above a whisper voice. There were few things that could stun Hyuck like this but Mark, goddamn flirtatious, drunk Mark, would always be one of them. _

_ "All is fair in love and war, baby." The retort came quickly, Mark's voice teasing, his eyes practically glistening with mischief. Baby. The word rolled off his tongue so smoothly, so beautifully, Hyuck couldn't help but feel mesmerised by it. Love. It felt like a cruel joke for Mark to be throwing the word around so casually and with so little meaning when Hyuck really felt it. _

_ "This isn't love," Donghyuck corrected. An unnecessary comment said with unnecessary harshness and unnecessary connotations. Hyuck cracked a feeble grin to cover his slightly bitter initial response, but he still didn't miss the look of confusion, and maybe even hurt, that crossed Mark's face. _

_ "No," Mark said, his grin intact. "But it is war." With that he held the ball up above his head, cheering victoriously. "And I just won so get in the middle Hyuckie, it's time for us to torture you now." _

_ Donghyuck let out a bitter laugh. As he swam to the middle of the pool, switching places with Mark, he couldn't help but think that that was exactly what Mark was doing, even if he didn't know. Kissing him like that, those lingering touches… they made every single fibre of Hyuck's body burn. He wanted more and not just physically. Lee Donghyuck was undeniably in love with Mark Lee and he couldn't help but wish that he felt the same. _

_ 'All is fair in love and war', his best friend had said. But if love could be this unfair, Donghyuck wished he'd never felt it.  _

They say that falling in love with your best friend is a beautiful thing. That it's smiles and laughter and being a little too close transforming into hand-holding and cuddles and making out. That it's all sunshine and rainbows, and kisses interrupted by giggles and those dinner 'dates' at your local diner that you've been having since you were a kid feeling all that more special. That it's finally responding to those teasing couple comments with exaggerated kisses rather than middle fingers and awkward laughter. That it's getting to know someone who you thought you knew everything about in a whole new way. They say falling in love with your best friend is a beautiful thing and yes, those parts definitely are. It's a shame they only exist if the love is requited. If it's not, then all you get is a ton of suffering watching your best friend fall for someone else, seeing their laughter and wishing it was you who had made them laugh like that, seeing how they look at other people and yearning to be the one at the other end of those glances. It's hurting knowing that whilst you know your best friend better than you know yourself but knowing you'll never get to know them like  _ that _ . 

Donghyuck got a taste of both worlds. No, Mark didn't love him back but at times, he certainly acted like it. And when he did… well, let's just say it was heavenly. 

_ Mark was plenty intoxicated, Donghyuck less so, having gotten there just twenty minutes or so before the fateful game began. Seven minutes in heaven. Hyuck didn't that was a game people actually played, just something out of teenage chick flicks but Lucas seemed very adamant when he drank the last of his beer and placed a bowl filled with pieces of paper on the floor between them. At first, the game seemed pretty harmless, fun even as they picked names and listened outside the closet door for whatever went on inside, but it started to feel like a chick flick taking a very wrong turn when Mark's name was pulled from the bowl. Donghyuck felt something boil in him as he watched his best friend teasingly lick his lips, eyes glinting with mischief as he waited for the other name to be pulled. He hated how the boy next to Mark leaned forward, looking all too eager. He hated it even more that he just caught himself doing the exact same, breath held as Lucas unfolded the second piece of paper.  _

_ 'Donghyuck'. A few seconds ago, he was hoping it would be his name on that piece of paper but all of a sudden, he felt frozen in the spot by fear. He wasn't even sure what he was more scared of, the prospect of something actually happening in there or that Mark wouldn't want to do anything, not with him. He was so preoccupied with his own thoughts that he completely missed Mark's reaction and now he was already standing with his back to Donghyuck, walking towards the closet. Jaemin nudged him and he stood up to follow, the room blurring with every step until all he could see was Mark and all he could hear was his own heartbeat.  _

_ "Hey," he said raspily after the closet door closed behind them.  _

_ "Hey" Mark replied with a lopsided grin.  _

_ "So, erm, what are we going to-" His question was cut off by Mark's lips crashing against his and Donghyuck stumbled back against the wall of the closet. His head the wood with quite an audible thud but he couldn't even feel it. It's like his lips and every part of his body touching Mark were so on fire that it left no room for feeling anything else. The kiss was so perfect but also lethal, like Mark had simultaneously raised him to heaven and dragged him through hell. Perhaps it was the subconscious knowledge that nothing good would come out of this but avid over-thinker Lee Donghyuck did a pretty damn good job of shutting his thoughts out in those seven minutes. He did less of a good job of keeping his mouth shut though and within seconds, Mark had slipped his tongue in, exploring Hyuck's mouth eagerly. His hands were roaming his body, in his hair, on his neck, cupping his cheeks and under his shirt. Every nerve in his body was pulsing with electricity as Mark's hands finally settled, rubbing small circles in the small of his gasp. Mark had taken Hyuck's breath away, literally and figuratively, and he pulled away with a gasp. He took a moment to look at Mark, his ruffled black hair, his rosy cheeks and his full pink lips that seemed to glisten now, but before he could fully take it in again, Mark closed the gap between them again, his mouth moving hungrily against Hyuck's own.  _

_ The next time they pulled apart again was when the seven minutes had ended. Seven minutes in heaven. Who would've thought that was so literal? _

Heaven. If Hyuck had to use one word to describe what it felt like to be kissed by Mark Lee, to have his hands wander your body and his mouth light you on fire, heaven would be it.

Hell. If he had to find a word to describe the aftermath of the kisses, the pain that Mark didn't remember and the increasingly familiar pang in his chest that this was all they'd ever be, it would be hell. 

Heaven and hell; two sides of the same coin. Usually, at this point, Hyuck decided that the heaven now would be worth whatever hellish pain tomorrow bought. Alas, tonight was different. Donghyuck was different. He took hold of Mark's hands that were still fumbling around in an attempt to undress him and stepped back. 

"That's enough for tonight" he declared, the words harder to say than he ever thought they could be. Why was Mark so hard to resist when all he ever seemed to be doing was hurting Donghyuck?"

"Are you sure Hyuckie?" Mark asked, slurring his words from the alcohol as he stepped closer to the boy again. That nickname, that teasing tone, that sexy smirk… it made Donghyuck weak in the knees and Mark's hands that were now tracing down the middle of his bare chest didn't make saying no any easier. It wasn't until he felt Mark's lips against his own again that his rational thinking came back.

"Don't you understand?" he exclaimed, pain evident in his voice. "You're hurting me. Every goddamn kiss that you don't even remember hurts me. It really fucking hurts me." By the time he said that, tears were running down Donghyuck's cheeks and he struggled to steady his breathing and control the sobs that he knew would soon rack his body. He really thought he was going to have a full mental breakdown until he saw Mark's expression. His confused expression. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was just all the pent up emotion but it made Hyuck so angry. How dare he be confused? How dare he look so fucking defenceless after all he'd done? Donghyuck wanted to shout. He wanted to scream. But all he found the power to say were these seven words: "Just kiss me when you're sober Mark."

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Gimme some love hehe  
Oh & thanks for reading :)


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